Cats Are So Last Season

Enough with the kitties—I’m sick of them raining down from the sky with possessed laser beam eyes, I’m sick of them superimposed over your face, I’m sick of them even when they’re teamed with a rasher of bacon. They were funny for a nanosecond but that moment has passed. Now they belong to girls who read Frankie religiously, bake cupcakes just so they can Instagram them, knit in their spare time and don’t even like the real life version of the feline. Read—cats are no longer cool, the only pussy I want to hear about right now is the Russian feminist punk rock, unpopular with Putin type. Here’s a hot tip…possums are trending for Spring/Summer 2013.

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One thought on “Cats Are So Last Season

  1. […] Is Not A Mall. It even had rave cat stickers (the only kind of acceptable cats that, unlike their CatPaint cousins, will remain forever in style). Before you ask, yes, I did purposely blur the address on this […]

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